Posted on August 20, 2010 - by Megan
Adoption Update: Uganda is a No-Go
Yesterday was an emotional day on our roller coaster ride of adoption. I called my American contact at the Amani Baby Cottage in Uganda to find out how things were coming with the revision of their application process. Last time I talked to him, he explained that they were revising their process and would be ready to give us an application to fill out in about three weeks. When spoke to him yesterday, he told me, “I can offer you no hope of being able to adopt here.” I was stunned. No hope. Wow. It doesn’t get any clearer than that.
Apparently, none of the children currently at the baby home are eligible for adoption—either they still have one or more living family members who have not relinquished their rights, or they have not been met the legal criteria for orphan status. Consequently, they cannot be adopted at this time. In addition, my contact explained that there were a number of families on the waiting list who would receive priority should children come available in the future. I think this is where the “no hope” part comes in.
I am thankful that we only had to wait a few weeks instead of several months to find this out. Still, it’s a bit of a blow. As I explained here, my heart has long been tied to Uganda, and adopting children from that country would have been a dream come true. But, that doesn’t seem to be in God’s plan, at least for now. I called Joel immediately after my phone conversation. We decided to talk through everything in more detail on our date night tonight, but think we’ll begin to pursue Ethiopian adoption now that the door to Uganda has closed.
My prayer all along is that God would open and shut the right doors, making a way for us. As my mom said when I talked with her later yesterday afternoon, we have put our ship in the water, hoisted the sails, and are now in a position for God to direct us toward His plan for our family. As I’ve said before, adoption is a journey. Where you start is often not where you end up. I’m thankful that God is writing our story even though we can’t see the how it will all come together in the end.
In the meantime, I was thankful to find these two videos below of a family in our area who adopted a little girl named Lucy Lane form Ethiopian about a year ago. The video are of her “gotcha day,” the day her mom went to pick her up at the orphanage, and the second one is a follow-up. Watch them both. They filled my heart with longing and hope. As I watched this video, I wept because my heart aches for the day that I get to meet our child and hold her in my arms. There is so much difficulty between here and there, but I know it will be worth it.
Please keep us in your prayers as Joel and I ask God to lead us to the next right step.
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My name is Megan Hyatt Miller. I'm a little Emmilou Harris, a little Bonnie Rait, and a dash of Paula Dean—mostly because I identify with her unbridled use of butter and ample hips. I am passionate about living and telling a good story. I'm a wife, a stepmom and and an adoptive mom. I am passionate about adoption, racial reconciliation, and creating beauty and a sense belonging for those I love. To learn more, click here. Thanks for stopping by.
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August 20, 2010
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Bryan Radtke said:
My heart goes out to you and your family. We recently were in a similar situation with a Congo adoption where the door was closed.
I recall our first adoption over 4 years ago. We were waiting and were a possible match a few times that never worked out. I felt God’s presence in that situation and knew that we needed to make a decision on where we were going to live before God would bless us with a child. We made that decision and two days later, we got word we were selected. God’s timing is always perfect.
We recently had two friends adopt from Ethiopia and have another one considering it. We will pray for you guys as you continue your journey.
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August 20, 2010
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Megan said:
Bryan, thanks for sharing your story. It is so encouraging to know that none of us are in this alone. I think the adoption community is one of God’s many provisions along this difficult road. Thanks for your prayers. May God bless you in your journey as well.
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August 20, 2010
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Lindsey Nobles said:
I’m so sorry Megan. Ugh. “No hope” must have felt like such a blow. But I feel confident that something will work out for you guys. Love this visual…Your ship is the water, sail hosted, and God is directing your path.
I was talking about your journey the other night with @B_rewster and @jB_rewster. They adopted domestically several years ago. I need to connect ya’ll. He just came on staff with CrossPoint. Think you guys would totally connect.
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August 21, 2010
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Megan said:
Linds, thanks for your encouragement. I’d love to meet them! The adoption community is incredible. I had no idea. Hope to see you next week, Girl!
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August 20, 2010
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Michael Hyatt said:
I am so sorry, Meg. I know this had t be a blow. Evidently, God wants to tell a much bigger story through your life. All of these positive and negative plot turns are what drive the story forward, give it depth, and will transform you, the children, and the thousands of people who will hear it.
I have so much more to share, but I will wait until I get back to Nashville.
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August 21, 2010
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Megan said:
It is all about the story. I can’t wait to see what God has planned.
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August 20, 2010
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Jason said:
I’m so sorry to see this happened to you, Meg. I can’t imagine how it hurt to hear them tell you there was “no hope.”
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August 20, 2010
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Shannon Litton said:
My husband and I began pursuing an adoption from Haiti in December. The earthquake in January made that an impossibility. It took us about 6 months to move our adoption hopes to Ethiopia, but the more I know about the country and its children, the more excited I am.
I posted about our decision just last week – http://www.shannonlitton.com/2010/08/submission-surrender-and-the-path-to-africa/
Best of luck to you! We also live in Franklin and have been inspired by Lucy Lane’s gotcha video.
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August 21, 2010
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Megan said:
I just can’t get over those videos. At this point, I probably need to STOP watching them (or, buy more Kleenex!). It sounds like you’ve been on your own roller coaster ride. I’m excited about your forthcoming adoption from Ethiopia too!
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August 20, 2010
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Aaron Klein said:
I’m so sorry to hear about this. It’s a very common experience in the adoption community, not that it ever makes any of us feel better for that to be the case!
You may want to really consider using a reputable adoption agency rather than working directly with an orphanage. In effect, you have less risk because an agency often operates multiple orphanages and doesn’t encounter this problem.
We’ve adopted twice through Holt International and can’t recommend it highly enough. (FYI – I have no financial ties to them. Just a recommendation as one of their adoptive families.) I wrote a little bit about them in my blog post earlier this week: http://www.aaronklein.com/2010/08/is-adoption-the-answer/
Ethiopia is a fantastic place to look for adoption. I know that Holt has about 250 children that need to be placed this year, and last year, they had about 200 adoptive parents. So they are in need of willing parents like you and Joel, and their wait times are *relatively* short.
Since we brought my daughter home, Holt started a Uganda adoption program as well. So if your hearts are really in Uganda, you may want to check that out too!
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August 21, 2010
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Megan said:
Aaron, wow! Thanks for your endorsement of Holt. Our friends, Michael and Allison Robison (see his comment below), adopted from Holt and said the same thing. We are excited. Also, thanks for sharing a bit of your story and the statistics on Holt’s Ethiopia program. It helps to know about both. Blessings!
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August 20, 2010
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WidneyWoman said:
Megan, I’m truly sorry to hear of this disappointment. We are adoptive parents and have spoken at adoption workshops. I understand the adoption journey and the pain and disappointment right now.
A couple we know had tried for about 4 years to adopt from the same Amani Baby Cottage. They even moved their entire family to Uganda. But the adoption fell through.
Again, I’m truly sorry for your loss.
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August 21, 2010
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Megan said:
Oh my goodness. How difficult. That makes me not feel so bad about our experience. Thank you for sharing with other families. For those of us on the journey, it means everything to hear from people who have walked the road before us.
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August 20, 2010
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laurie curtis said:
Hello! I follow your dad on twitter and couldnt help but check out your blog. we have a heart for adoption as well– i wanted to share my friend’s story with you-her website is: http://www.vogeltanzfamily.com
i know she would love to be in touch and would be great encouragement!
we live in athens ga- so nashville isnt too far
their gotcha day video of evyn is on the right. be encouraged and hold tight!
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August 20, 2010
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Linda Bolton said:
I am so sorry things are moving along as you had expected. I do know of an orphanage in another area in Africa if you are interested. The woman who runs itches American and her daughter is a friend of mine. If you are interested please email me.
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August 20, 2010
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Danny R. said:
How about go to the country where your baby is and do your own negotiations and parenting at the same time. I’ve known a few to get things rolling by coming and living in China. It works!
Good Luck.
Dan in Guangzhou, China
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August 21, 2010
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Erik w/a k said:
So sorry to hear this. A friend of mine pointed me to your blog. My wife and I are adopting 2 kids from Ethiopia. We have been on the waiting list for 6 weeks. I’m praying tonight for you and Joel as you continue to seek God’s direction. I’m excited to follow along with where that journey goes. Feel free to dig around in our story if you are so inclined.
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August 21, 2010
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Megan said:
Erik, I can’t wait to read about your story. Joel and I were loved to read that you will be adopting two children. We will be praying for you guys too. Blessings in your journey.
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August 21, 2010
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Michael Robison said:
Hey…Just thought I’d share the link to our video….This is the actual trip to get Kaia with Holt….All I can say is that Holt makes the experience TOP NOTCH beyond anything we could have imagined. Plus, getting to meet Kaia’s mom and see her village was the icing on the cake. We are so excited for you guys. We are here as a ready resource for you. Call anytime.
http://www.vimeo.com/10653810
The password to view is 101597 It’s “locked” due to some odd and ends policies….but obviously I just shared the password publicly!!! Enjoy…
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August 21, 2010
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Megan said:
Michael (and Allison, of course!), once again, thank you for your incredible support and encouragement. It is such a joy to watch God weave our stories together for a second time, so many years later. I can’t wait until our kids get to become friends!
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August 23, 2010
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Karen Yingling said:
Meg – I am so sorry that this did not work out for you – but having been through two international adoption, I can assure you that God’ perfect plan will be at work through you for His glory. The journey to a child is a piece of God’s handiwork in us – purifying us, cleansing us, and molding us – to be the parents to the child He has chosen for us.
May God richly bless you as you steer the course He has laid for you-
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August 27, 2010
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sample resume said:
Awesome blog post, very appreciated the info!
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April 2, 2011
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Cristina said:
Be glad that Amani dropped you! Some friends of our have been in the process for 18 months. They have been matched with a child for nearly a year. The fees have been doubled after they were matched with him. They refuse to communicate and get mad when they demand to get information. After all this time, a failed trip over there to get him, and a ton more money than originally agreed upon….they said they are not allowing them to adopt the little boy. We know that they are not the first people to experience this treatment. So like I said….be glad they dropped you. I can also tell you for a fact that telling you that all the children were ineligible for adoption was a flat out lie. My sister volunteered there for an extended amount of time and there are very fee if any children that are ineligible. She learned many frightening things that go on while she was there and will never return. The worst part is that they are ultimately hurting and exploiting the children. I hope you found another orphanage and were able to adopt a child!