Posted on August 17, 2010 - by Megan
Being a mom: not for the faint of heart
I have become what I once made fun of—the mom who shows up to drop her kids off at school in the morning looking like she just rolled out of bed. Yesterday, I got as far as brushing my teeth before dashing out the door, and even that seemed like a small miracle. I found myself behind the wheel of my minivan at 6:45 a.m., sporting bed-head, standard-issue yoga pants, my husband’s oversized t-shirt, and mascara raccoon eyes.
I remember the days before kids (not that long ago for me). I would see moms out in the morning, looking like death. I used to think, “Good grief! Can’t they get it together and put some decent clothes on or wipe the mascara from under their eyes?” The answer is no. No they can’t just get it together. Why? Because they are too busy getting everyone else together.
I suspect my morning is typical for most moms. I switched off the alarm at 5:05, came downstairs, unloaded the dishwasher, made coffee, and answered a few emails. At 5:45, I got the kids up, made breakfast, and hurried them upstairs to get ready. Meanwhile, I made two lunches, signed school papers, tied ponytails, combed hair and intercepted a pattern-on-pattern outfit faux pas. I raced upstairs, threw on my clothes (which may, or may not have been pulled from the dirty clothes hamper), and gave the kids a five minute warning before brushing my teeth. I grabbed a travel mug of coffee on my way to the car and threatened to to put Legos down the toilet if bottoms weren’t buckled in their seats in thirty seconds. (I’m joking about the Legos; that would only make more work for me, as an emergency plumbing call would be needed.) This all happened before 7 a.m., long before my “real” day of errands and work began. Can you relate?
Yesterday, getting it all done, not to mention, getting myself together, seemed impossible. It feels like my list multiplies in the dark these days, and I often wake up feeling defeated before I start. Later that morning, I called my best friend Katy to vent. As we talked, I realize that one of the most challenging things about being a mom is that our work seems invisible. To our husbands and families, clean clothes magically appear in drawers, food shows up in lunch boxes, shoes are put away, and doctor’s appointments are scheduled without explanation. It’s not that they don’t appreciate what we do for them, it’s just easy to forget how much work it takes to run a family, since most of that work happens when no one else is around.
Some days are harder and more overwhelming than others. Yesterday was one of those for me. Katy reminded me that what we are doing as moms does matter, even the million little things that no one sees—and even if we look like a mess while we do them. The truth is that God sees, and that is what matters most.
Take a minute and watch this video, “The Invisible Woman,” by my friend Nicole Johnson. I promise you will be encouraged.
What encourages you when you have a hard day as a mom?
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21. Aug, 2010
[...] Being a Mom: Not for the Faint of Heart by Megh Miller [...]
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My name is Megan Hyatt Miller. I'm a little Emmilou Harris, a little Bonnie Rait, and a dash of Paula Dean—mostly because I identify with her unbridled use of butter and ample hips. I am passionate about living and telling a good story. I'm a wife, a stepmom and and an adoptive mom. I am passionate about adoption, racial reconciliation, and creating beauty and a sense belonging for those I love. To learn more, click here. Thanks for stopping by.
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August 17, 2010
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toni birdsong said:
Wow, Megan – you sure nailed that one. This is a no-cure condition. The only salve I’ve found is that I work as if working for the Lord because that’s the truth. He sees all and smiles down on all the exhausted moms. He massages their weary bones with able hands that allow us to get up and do it all over again! Bless you in your adventures, my friend. You are an awesome mom. Let’s get tee-shirts that say “No, in fact, I can’t get it together!” Yay!
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August 17, 2010
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Megan said:
Toni,
Preach it! Yes. We are working for the Lord. I love that. If you end up making those shirts, I’ll buy one:) Thanks for your encouragement.
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August 17, 2010
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Michael Hyatt said:
I loved, loved, loved this post. I have watched your mother do this difficult job for more than 30 years. Yet she amazes me with her grace and cheerfulness. Sometimes I wonder if she is even from this planet!
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August 17, 2010
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Megan said:
No doubt about it. I seriously shake my head when I think about raising 5 kids. She’s a saint.
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August 17, 2010
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Claudia Duncan said:
I love your post… I can so relate to this. Thanks for the dose of inspiration.
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August 17, 2010
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Karin Simmons said:
Thank you Meg for posting this. I folded laundry watching this with tears streaming down my face. You hit this week’s nail on the head for me … thank you for the reminder. I needed this so much.
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August 17, 2010
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Eva Ulian said:
So uplifting that our time on this earth does not go by totally un-noticed.
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August 17, 2010
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Rachel Wojnarowski said:
Totally with you on this one! Thanks for post…made me think of last week one day when I was struggling more than usual, and it was like God just dumped a huge reminder right in my lap. Wrote about it here: http://wp.me/pUVwO-cH. Thanks a bunch!
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August 17, 2010
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Megan said:
Rachel,
Thanks for sharing this! It’s helpful to just know that we’re in this together as moms, doesn’t it? I look forward to reading your piece.
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August 17, 2010
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Diane Yuhas said:
Well said. You zeroed in on the heart of our struggle.
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August 17, 2010
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Gail Hyatt said:
How easy we forget. That’s the great news! Keep on. And it’s true, we do it for Him.
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August 17, 2010
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Brooke said:
This was incredibly touching. Thanks for sharing.
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August 17, 2010
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Mela Kamin said:
This is great & beautifully said. My song “These Hands” was written about the Invisible Woman idea. I read a poem by William Wallace from the 1800s called “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.” Amen.
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August 17, 2010
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Lynn D’Amico said:
Thanks, nice to know I’m not alone. Today was one of those defeated days. I have faith that tomorrow will be better!
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August 17, 2010
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Melinda Lancaster said:
Thank you for this very encouraging post and video. I so relate and am grateful God sees us!
Blessings!
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August 17, 2010
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Katy said:
Love you! And love having you in my life to help me remember that life can be hard, but God gives us family and friends to build eachother up, and give us Himself to go to when things are hard.
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August 18, 2010
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Jen Saxelby said:
So true Megan! Sometimes it seems like nothing ever really gets done but moms do accomplish a lot. I have been feeling unwell and my husband commented about how everything falls apart when I am not able to do it. That really made me feel like I made a difference to them! Besides, if moms did not do all this stuff then who would?
It also helps me to remember that Jesus thinks highly of a joyful servant doing what the world sees as menial tasks.
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August 18, 2010
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Gayla Grace said:
Awesome post and very encouraging video. As a mother/stepmother of 5, it is definitely a challenge at times. But if we remember, “We don’t work for them. We work for Him,” we will truly be blessed!
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September 18, 2010
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Cheryl Smith said:
I feel your pain. 5AM alarm, getting four kids out the door to three different schools (though they typically ride the bus), try to fit in exercise and quiet time and husband time and laundry and – oh yeah, work, church and friends.
I have a very wise friend who often shared this with me when my two were small:
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=isa.%2040:11&version=NKJV
Lord, lead Meg & Joel gently.