Archive for the ‘Faith’ Category


Posted on July 22, 2011 - by

Cultivating a Thankful Heart

The idea of gratitude is something I resisted in the past. I used to think “choosing” to be grateful limited my ability to be authentic in the midst of difficulty. Once, after a particularly bad day, Joel asked me, “What are you grateful for?” At first, I was offended, thinking that he was invalidating my feelings, but he kept pushing me to answer.

As I reluctantly made a verbal list, a strange thing started to happen—I actually began to feel grateful as I chose to be grateful. I learned that choosing gratitude gives us the chance to recognize God’s bounteous provision in our lives. It is literally everywhere if only we will notice.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.—James 1:17

Every good gift. Just think about that for a moment. The house you live in, the car you drive, the air you breath, the body that got you out of bed this morning, the food that you pulled out of your refrigerator for breakfast, the spouse you are learning how to love well, these are all good and perfect gifts, given to you out of love from your Heavenly Father. (more…)


Posted on July 12, 2011 - by

Does Prayer Work?

Have you ever wondered if prayer actually “works?” Is it effective? Does it influence the outcome of the circumstances of our lives?

When you ask people about prayer, you get a range of opinions about its purpose and efficacy. Some people are intercessory prayer warriors (who certainly believe their prayers have power), while others believe that prayer-doesn’t-change-God-it-changes-us. Personally, I think God hears and responds to our prayer AND uses it to transform our hearts in the process. Here’s what I mean:

God Answers All Prayers

I know it sounds odd to say, but I think God answers all of our prayers. Sometimes he gives us what we want in the way we hope for, but those moments seem few and far between. However, he always gives us what we need, which is often quite different from what we want.

These kind of answers can be baffling, leaving us wondering if God has left the building. We find ourselves tapping on the microphone of life, wondering, “Is this thing on? Is anybody listening? Does anybody care?”

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Posted on July 7, 2011 - by

Out of Control, or Just Out of OUR Control?

Worry has always topped my list of besetting sins. I like to be in control. I like to have a plan. Real life, of course, eludes control and scoffs at our best-laid plans. Worry seems to stalk our hearts, whispering that our worst fears are moments away from being realized.

Truthfully, most of us have more reasons to worry than we can count. It often feels like everything rides on the outcome of a situation, yet we have precious little influence on how things turn out.

How can we take heart when things seem out of control?

My dad preached a sermon recently about the story of the myrrhbearing women who went to see Jesus’ tomb after his crucifiction and found it empty. He pointed out that they must have been worried as they approached the place of his burial. After all, a Roman guard had been instructed to seal the tomb, “make it as secure you know how” (Matthew 27:65) and stand watch.

Would they be barred from entry? Arrested for showing up? Killed even? If they happened to arrive when the guards were away, how on earth would they move the giant stone covering the entrance? It was anyone’s guess. (more…)


Posted on June 27, 2011 - by

Parenting on Your Knees

Increasingly, I believe our most important role as parents is to pray for our children. Too often, I find myself so concerned with providing for basic physical and emotional needs that I forget to do battle for their hearts in prayer.

Recently, I had lunch with my friend Sunny Thomas who is the mother of eight (three biological, five adopted). As we talked about the joys and challenges of mothering, I found our conversation kept coming back to prayer. She didn’t offer helpful hints or simple solutions, just a humble admonition to get on my knees and pray fiercely for my kids.

When our children are all grown up and I’m looking back on their lives, I have a feeling I will realize my prayers mattered more than I would have ever expected.

Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.—James 5:16

What am I praying for? Many things of course—protection, healing and wisdom to be sure. But, mostly, I ask God to grow our children into men and women who hunger and thirst for righteousness, people passionately in love with him, who pursue the things of the Kingdom with all their hearts.

I don’t know about you, but my best parenting days are insufficient toward that end, and the worst ones—well, we don’t even go there. Joel and I are not smart enough, patient enough or holy enough to accomplish so lofty a goal. We need to have the mind of Christ in us, be strengthened by his might, and be made effectual by his power. In other words, we can’t do it alone.

Here are a few ways to be more purposeful about prayer:

1. Pray with Them

Make regular prayer a part of your family life. We have had great success praying on the way to school, as well as in the evening before bed. Normally, we have a time of more liturgical prayer which the kids know by heart, followed by each person bringing their daily needs before God.

As our children hear us pray for them and have the chance to offer their own prayers, they learn how to pray. They learn to invite God into their day and remember him as the hours go by. In short, they learn to live in his presence.

2. Stop, Drop and Pray

Don’t confine prayer to morning and evenings though. When you or your children find yourselves in a situation where you don’t know how to proceed, stop and pray out loud.

Whether you ask God to release a child in the grip of a night terror or one struggling to be obedient, stop and ask God to intervene. This affirms to your child that we depend on God to lead and guide us in every moment of our lives.

3. Pray in Community

Historically, the church required children who were to be baptized to have godparents. Godparents become part of a child’s spiritual family, tasked primarily with praying on their behalf.

Even if your child doesn’t have godparents, ask those who love God and love them—grandparents, aunts and uncles, and friends—to commit to pray for them. When spiritual concerns, attacks of the enemy, or difficult circumstances arise in their lives, call in the troops. You can’t do this alone.

4. Don’t Rely on Your Own Words

What do you do when your words run out and your wisdom fails? Pray the old prayers. The oldest Christian churches have beautiful prayers written for parents and children. Don’t worry if the slightly more elevated language isn’t what you are used to. Instead, rest in fact that you are agreeing with parents throughout time who have used those words to bring their children to the feet of Christ.

Click here to see a sampling of prayers for families.

Perhaps our most powerful parenting moments are the ones spent on our knees. How have you seen prayer transform your parenting?


Posted on June 15, 2011 - by

Love Well in Moments of Crisis

Sometimes life is hard. Really hard. The unthinkable happens and you’re left with a Ziploc bag containing the shattered pieces of your heart wondering what happened. Your hopes and expectations, dashed in an instant.

How do we love one another well in our moments of deepest suffering?

This weekend, I watched several friends face incalculable tragedy. It seems to be in the air lately—homes burning down, children dying in car accidents, marriages falling apart, devastating medical diagnoses, whole towns destroyed by monster tornadoes. It all makes me long for Heaven and realize anew my desperate need for Jesus.

But, Heaven isn’t here yet, so how do we respond to the casualties of a profoundly broken world?

Here is what I’ve observed from those around me as they loved well this week.

1. Meet practical needs

When it all goes to hell, sometimes all you can do is bake someone a batch of muffins. My point isn’t so much about the necessity of baked goods in times of crisis (although, now that I think about it, maybe it is), it’s about anticipating and meeting basic needs.

Make a meal, drive the kids to practice, cut the grass, drop off a week’s worth of diapers and formula, clean the house, put gas in the car.

When you’re thrown into crisis it is hard to think clearly. It feels like everything is in slow motion and going a mile-a-minute all at the same time. As a friend, one of the greatest gifts you can give to a loved one in crisis is to do the thinking for her.

2. Just be there. Keep showing up two weeks later.

Often people retreat from those engulfed in pain. It can be extremely unsettling to know you can’t fix whatever has been broken. Acknowledge that you can’t fix it, and press in anyway. Get close. Of course, read the cues. Sometimes space is needed. But more often, companionship is the bigger need.

Sit in the hospital room, go to the funeral home before the visitation, stay late after everyone else has gone home.

Show up with bottle of wine and no agenda. Ask good questions and really listen. Don’t be afraid of tears or anger or laughter. Just be there. Most importantly, don’t forget to be there two weeks or two months later when the shock wears off.

3. Celebrate in the midst of suffering

As one of our friends said this weekend, “Man do we grieve, but we do not grieve like those who have no hope.” Jesus wins. He is bigger than disappointment and death and betrayal. We already know the end of the story.

In this world you will have trouble. Take heart. I have overcome the world.—John 16:33 NIV

Strangely enough, this makes moments of joy possible right next to moments of deep sadness. Haven’t we all found our hearts swelling with joy and grief at a funeral?

Joy is not the absense of suffering but the presence of God.—Author Unknown

When the situation calls for it, step into joy with those who suffer. Laugh, get up and dance, tell stories, look at pictures, and drink deeply from the complex range of emotions that are part of our human experience.

I am thankful that our Heavenly Father wraps his arms around us through the arms of those we love. Who do you know right now who could use a friend and a dozen blueberry muffins? In the face of inestimable loss, let us love boldly and be Christ to one another.


Posted on May 31, 2011 - by

What Vegetables Know About Life

CSA Week One

Life lessons come from the strangest places and often the most unlikely. When Joel and I signed up for a local CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) earlier this spring, I had no idea vegetables could teach me so much.

If you aren’t familiar with how a CSA works, a local farm sells shares in their harvest. From May through October, a family receives one overflowing bushel a week of whatever is growing at the farm at that time. Every week is different.

CSA Week Two

At the  beginning of the season, it seems like everything is green—blue-ish green kale, hearty romaine, ruffly chartreuse lettuce, bok choy, microgreens, baby salad greens, baby spinach with red stems, and on and on. The various shades of emerald are punctuated by radishes and strawberries and purple onions to be sure, but green is the color of a spring harvest. (more…)


Posted on April 13, 2011 - by

Four Attributes of Radical Love

When we think about growing our families or looking for ministry opportunities, the first things most of us ask are, “What can I handle?” What is a good fit for my life?” We want to serve God without being too inconvenienced.

When I tell people we are adopting two children, two boys who are not infants, I often hear, “Why? Why would you want to adopt two at once? Aren’t you afraid that is going to be too much to handle?”

This response got me thinking about the upside-down version of love presented in the Gospel in contrast to what we see celebrated in the world. Here is what I’ve discovered:

1. Our Comfort and Convenience Don’t Really Matter

My friend, Salem Richards, was recently asked, “Are you going to help every child that comes along and needs family?” Her response, “Well, shouldn’t we?” Wow.

How can we explain families who adopt children with special needs, numerous children or older children that promise to change their life in dramatic (and often inconvenient) ways forever? I think they have come to believe life is not primarily about pursuing their own comfort, it is about radical love.  (more…)


Posted on April 6, 2011 - by

Just Squeeze My Hand

A few weeks ago, Joel and I got our travel immunizations for our upcoming trip to Uganda. I’ve never been too fond of needles, so I asked Joel for his hand when it was my turn. As I anticipated the first “stick,” fear washed over me.

I squeezed Joel’s hand tightly and looked straight into his eyes as the first of three injections pierced my skin. His strength gave me courage to be still, and his gaze told me it would okay.

Truth be told, I would rather avoid these moments all together. I’m talking about the needles so much as moments when my strength fails, fear looms large, and certainty is nowhere to be found. But, I am learning that there is a sweetness to our frailty. It’s not all bad news. Our weakness offers us the chance for connection that our more “together” moments can’t.

“He knows our frame. He remembers that we are dust.” Psalm 103:14 (more…)


Posted on March 29, 2011 - by

Liminal Space

We are in a season of liminal space at the Miller House. “Liminal” comes from the Latin word that means threshold. Liminal space is that place between two things, the step before entering a new season. No longer a caterpillar, but not yet a butterfly.

Likewise, we are not quite a family of four anymore, but we are not really a family of six either. We are in transition. We are preparing. The space between the two is a little messy, like life can’t quite find its sea legs.

Liminal space is always an experience of displacement.—Richard Rohr from Everything Belongs

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Posted on March 17, 2011 - by

Follow Him Today: Thoughts on Endurance

Edurance

Endurance is not a very popular spiritual idea. Personally, I’m much more into deliverance, moving mountains, and miracles. When I pray for these things, I always imagine that God’s mercy looks like quick and final intervention, but my past experience says otherwise.

So much of our spiritual walk (notice isn’t not called a run) is about keepin’ on keepin’ on. God calls us to trust him and walk with him today, to fix our eyes on him right now, not in the future. Like most things, this is harder than it looks.

From my perspective, from “here to there” seems so close. I think I can almost touch “there,” so I reach and I grab. I attempt to control. But, when I step to the side to get a better view, I realize there are many gaps between here and there, chasms only God can bridge. The is road longer  and more difficult than it appeared at first glance. (more…)


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