Posted on August 2, 2010 - by Megan
Learning to love like Jesus
I finally said it out loud—the dark secret I had kept for years, “I don’t really like poor people.” Then I waited for lightning to strike. I had created a caricature of poverty in which everyone was crazy, demanding, stinky, and scary. The caricature enabled me to rationalize separation and non-engagement.
This revelation came while talking to my husband Joel about his desire to be more involved in ministry, particularly among the broken and the disadvantaged. My statement was born out of fear—fear that God would call me into uncomfortable and unnerving relationships. Fear that serving God would bring about financial poverty in my own life. Fear that I would be forced to love those who were profoundly unlovable.
After articulating my feelings about the poor, I became deeply troubled.There was a part of my heart I was unwilling to allow the Gospel to penetrate. I didn’t want my life to be disrupted. I wanted to serve God within the parameters that I determined, not the other way around. I didn’t want to change, but a reckoning had been a long time coming.
My disdain for the poor, especially the poor in America, is all the more shameful because I lead communications for an organization that seeks to promotes racial reconciliation and empower the disadvantaged. Because my job is mostly focused on educating the community and not interacting directly with our families, I managed to keep a comfortable distance, one that allowed me to feel good about myself without risking anything. This is humiliating to admit.
Faced with the hypocrisy of my own heart, I had a choice to make—was I willing to abandon myself to Christ, including every inch of my life, holding nothing in reserve? Was I willing to be transformed by an encounter with the Gospel and come to grips with the poverty of my own heart? As Rich Sterns asks when retelling his journey to become president of World Vision in The Hole in Our Gospel, “Am I willing to be open to God’s will for my life?” My answer has too often been, “No.”
If I’m honest, God scares me. Following God with my whole heart leaves me shaking in my boots. As a result, I have sought to keep parts of my life separate from Him believing those things provided certainty, safety, pleasure—life. But, true life is only found in Christ.
I am reminded of the scene from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe when Mr. Beaver is telling the children about Aslan. “’Safe?” said Mr. Beaver; “don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.” “I’m longing to see him,” said Peter, “Even if I do feel frightened when it comes to that point.”
Like, Peter, I am longing to see Him, even if I do feel frightened. That is what I want, no matter what it costs, no matter how uncomfortable it makes me. There really is no other open for anyone wanting to live fully. “Seeing” Christ depends largely upon our willingess to go where He takes us, and that often includes traveling to places of suffering, whether in our own lives or the lives of others.
As my wise and godly husband told me later in our conversation, “When someone is disabled by brokenness, oppression, or a lack of resources, it is as though the image of God inside them has gotten buried. As Christians, we must be willing to take a stand for the deeper truth in one another, and be faithful to do whatever we can to chip away at the things that cover up our identity in Christ.”
Joel took a stand for me as an image bearer of Christ when he helped to chip away at my pride, fear, and hard-heartedness. By God’s grace, I can learn to do the same for the people that I am called to love and be in community with. By the same grace, it is possible for me to learn to see Christ in everyone I encounter rather than a distortion brought on by my own prejudice, fear, and selfishness.
I have a long way to go—so much to learn and so much chipping away left to be done inside by heart. But, I am grateful for the grace that allows me to learn what it means to love like Jesus.
What holds you back from giving your heart fully to Christ?
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04. Aug, 2010
[...] Megan Hyatt Miller — daughter of Thomas Nelson’s Michael Hyatt — comes face to face with her inability to embrace the current social justice movement because she just doesn’t like the poor. [...]
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About Me
My name is Megan Hyatt Miller. I'm a little Emmilou Harris, a little Bonnie Rait, and a dash of Paula Dean—mostly because I identify with her unbridled use of butter and ample hips. I am passionate about living and telling a good story. I'm a wife, a stepmom and and an adoptive mom. I am passionate about adoption, racial reconciliation, and creating beauty and a sense belonging for those I love. To learn more, click here. Thanks for stopping by.
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August 2, 2010
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Karen Anderson said:
Meg -
Me, too.
Love you
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August 3, 2010
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Megan said:
I’m glad I’m not in it alone–I’m needing some porch time soon!
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August 2, 2010
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Gail Hyatt said:
Wow. This one hits home.
Excellent job, Meg. Now to be a “doer of the word and not merely a hearer only.”
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August 2, 2010
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Liberty said:
the kind of truth I identify with.
*BLessings*
liberty
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August 3, 2010
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Megan said:
Great to hear from you! Love your blog, btw. Hope you guys are well!
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August 3, 2010
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Cyndi Tefft said:
Great post. It’s really scary to put yourself out there and I appreciate your honesty. Thank you.
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August 3, 2010
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Peter G said:
So you want to help the poor in order to serve God lest you may incur His displeasure, or you want to help the poor because it’s the right thing to do, God or no God?
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August 3, 2010
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Megan said:
I want to my heart to be trasnformed by the love of Christ–showing others, the under-served included–the same love that I’ve been shown.
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August 3, 2010
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DC Curry said:
Brilliant and authentic post! Great words and a great reminder!
Godspeed!!!
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August 3, 2010
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Lynna Kay Parker said:
Powerful message in this post. Thank you for allowing God to use your weakness to touch others! It spoke to my heart.
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August 3, 2010
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Lana Vaughan said:
Praying for your journey…
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August 3, 2010
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Jennifer Davis said:
You are very brave to admit your fear as you did. I, too, can relate. I want to help the poor, but I seem to find ways to send money without getting my hands dirty. Thank you for challenging me.
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August 3, 2010
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Timaay said:
I find my soul uplifted when I serve the poor at Catholic Worker. Reminds me of Paul’s admonition to associate with the lowly. It’s usually always a great feeling…
I appreciate your candor and willingness to confront your resistance. You will do fine, I’m sure.
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August 3, 2010
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Marla Taviano said:
Thank you for sharing so honestly. I can relate, and God has REALLY been working on my heart. The Hole in Our Gospel really got to me. And the book Radical too. My husband and I just got back from a trip to Cambodia, and wow. I’m ready to be totally abandoned to Christ. Scared but ready.
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August 3, 2010
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Megan said:
Marla,
Sounds like you are living your own good story. Thanks for identifying…The Hole in Our Gospel has turned my world upside down and I’m so thankful. Sounds like it’s done the same for you. Blessings in your journey!
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August 3, 2010
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Kristen said:
Meg, this is a journey that is worth investing. I work with the poor in Cleveland Ohio. If you want to get a greater understanding of the heart of God, just sit and visit with a homeless person or poverty stricken individual for a while.
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August 3, 2010
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Megan said:
I have absolutely no doubt. I love (and struggle with) God’s upside-down economy here. Thanks for the inspiration of your story.
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August 3, 2010
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Nathan said:
Thank you for this post. Your honesty and genuineness in this post shows what we need more of in the church.
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August 3, 2010
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Michael Hyatt said:
I love your honesty. The truth is that very few of us can be this honest. Until we do, it is difficult to engage.
I’m proud of you for leading the way!
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August 3, 2010
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Gayla Grace said:
Thank you for your transparency. What a beautiful expression of honesty.
God showed me His grace through a second marriage and then asked me to love two stepchildren that I couldn’t love without His grace. It’s been harder than I ever imagined at times but it’s forced me to rely on Him daily.
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August 3, 2010
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Bob said:
You misspelled lightning.
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August 3, 2010
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Daniel Decker said:
Powerful post filled with a lot of wisdom and truth. Glad you shared!
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August 3, 2010
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emily said:
Well. This is my first visit here and can I say I’m so glad I’ve come. What you say here has been rolling around in my heart these days, enough to get my attention but not enough yet for me to do anything about it. Lots of questions, few answers. Thanks for your words today.
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August 3, 2010
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Diane Yuhas said:
Thanks. I appreciate honesty. It is often hard to come by just bouncing it off the surface of our hearts. We have to let God’s light in a little deeper each time. I have found it amazingly true that the things I hate the most in others are those things found embarrassingly alive and well in myself.
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August 4, 2010
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Charmaine said:
Thanks for sharing your honesty with us.God knows our fears & apprehensions but so many times we don’t want to acknowledge them to ourselves let alone anyone else. We are all poor in someway–be it economically or spiritually.The Hole in the Gospel has brought tears of shame to many. God bless
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August 23, 2010
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Ralph du Plessis said:
Finally got around to reading this article and I must say I was really impressed. I believe you have accurately articulated what many people feel but are unable to express. Thanks.
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September 4, 2010
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Tamara White said:
mother theresa said ‘when I get to heaven I will thank the poor because they taught me the love of God.’
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February 28, 2011
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Pauline said:
This is amazingly authentic. Beautiful and frankly challenging in that same scary way to which you refer.
I’ve stumbled across your family’s blogs this weekend while trying to set up one of my own and (re)evaluating what my goals are (wife, mom of 3 young kids, etc. ). They have provided great reading, challenged me to write more clearly, and just been great food for thought this weekend.
Looking forward to reading more!
Be blessed,
Pauline