Posted on August 26, 2010 - by Megan
Political Correctness: A Cheap Substitute for Relationship
When white folks think about race relations, their minds often jump to what is appropriate to say or not say. At least, that was the case for me at the beginning. We either scoff at political correctness as a ridiculous mechanism of societal control or find ourselves paralyzed by fear of saying the wrong thing, communicating prejudice unintentionally.
Whether we resist or cling to political correctness, we are misguided. The problem is this—a preoccupation with political correctness is self-focused, not others-focused. It is concerned with protecting oneself from embarrassment, professional blunder, or public scrutiny.
There is a certain safety in political correctness. There are rules and clear boundaries that make it easy for me not to step on your side of the line and vice versa. But, it is not relational and not focused on reconciliation. Instead, political correctness is a superficial band-aid to the problem of race relations. It fosters racial division by undermining relationships.
While political correctness enables one to avoid offending another, it is not the same as wholeness or intimacy. Racial reconciliation is purposefully relational. Its goal is to heal the wounds of injustice and close the gap on racial division. First and foremost, it reminds us that we are meant—called even—to be one. Oneness necessitates relationship.
In order to foster an authentic relationship that crosses racial lines, it is imperative to begin from a place of curiosity, humility, and a commitment to honor the other person. These things enable us to recognize and let go of our assumptions and judgments about other people, or in the case of race, entire groups of people.
Rather than worry that we might say “black” when we should say “African-American,” we are able to get to know someone of a different skin color or ethnicity as a friend, and an individual person, made uniquely in the image of God. From this position, we desire to understand more about their history, their culture, and even their woundedness. We are careful not to offend or cause further pain because we care about the person we are in relationship with. Instead, we approach these relationships with honor, kindness, and sensitivity. Our focus shifts away from “self” to “other”.
While political correctness provides a degree of safety, it also keeps us separate, and separation and oneness are mutually exclusive. Conversely, relationships are messy. The work of racial reconciliation happens in the context of one-on-one relationships and that’s where things can get tricky. As with any relationship, there will be misunderstandings, discomfort, and bumps along the road to be sure. But, when we look around the room and see a community that reflects the Kingdom of God, we know that it was worth it.
What do you think is the biggest obstacle in developing relationships across racial lines?
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My name is Megan Hyatt Miller. I'm a little Emmilou Harris, a little Bonnie Rait, and a dash of Paula Dean—mostly because I identify with her unbridled use of butter and ample hips. I am passionate about living and telling a good story. I'm a wife, a stepmom and and an adoptive mom. I am passionate about adoption, racial reconciliation, and creating beauty and a sense belonging for those I love. To learn more, click here. Thanks for stopping by.
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August 26, 2010
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Jason Whitmen said:
I found your blog on google and read a few of your other posts. I just added you to my Google News Reader. Keep up the good work. Look forward to reading more from you in the future.
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August 26, 2010
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Joel J Miller said:
This is a really important point. There is inherent risk to relationships, which is why true racial reconciliation is also inherently risky. But it’s also of vital importance.
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August 26, 2010
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Men’s Battle Plan said:
Great post! I also thought about this story:
A man asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” Jesus replied, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him. And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.
Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?”
He said, “The one who showed him mercy.”
And Jesus said to him, “You go, and do likewise.”
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August 26, 2010
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Allishia said:
My boyfriend is bi-racial and most of my friends growing up have been of ALL races. This has NEVER been an issue with me because when I look at people, I dont see color. When it becomes a focus and people worry about how to “classify” others of the opposite race, well there in lies the issue.
I just cant fathom or tolerate racial inequality so its hard for me to understand why this is such a problem or how it becomes a problem.
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August 26, 2010
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Haelie said:
Oooh, this is good. Very good. I don’t think I have anything else to add. Thanks for being bold enough to write and post this from your heart.
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August 26, 2010
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Modern Reject said:
Hi. I just discovered your blog. Great stuff.
This is a refreshing subject and post. I think political correctness does more than make people self focused. I would add to what you said, in that it also makes people fearful of attempting any kind of genuine inter-racial relationship.
For example, those in our culture who monitor political correctness (the media, liberals, progressives)will not only stir up scrutiny but also label people “racist” or “discriminatory”. You are better off to say nothing than be well-intentioned and say the wrong thing.
As far as bridging racial lines, I think the responsibility falls on all sides, meaning all races. I am bi-racial. My father is black and my mother is white. No one side is innocent. If racial communities stop perpetuating the lies that have held them back they will gain greater acceptance. Likewise, if the mainstream culture stopped slapping everyone with a “racist” label they would help foster greater understanding and open communication.
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August 27, 2010
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Aimee Cranston said:
VERY well said!
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August 27, 2010
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Joy Eggerichs said:
Great post and insight! I would say the biggest obstacle is being being uncomfortable. If one thing is all they know or grew up with, then it’s hard for them to break out of that. Racially if they start trying to be friends with a group of people they didn’t grow up with it can appear forced–like they need their “quota” of friends that aren’t their same skin color.
The more we can not make a big deal about things and just have relationships with people, remembering that they are people, authenticity will come to the surface.
I grew up in a very ethnically diverse city so it was just normal. We were all friends. Then I went to college in a town that had basically two races and those two races had economical divisions. It was a crazy “in your face” reality that people can get too comfortable. Sometime unintentionally and patterns of familiar comfort and sometimes out of fear.
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September 4, 2010
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Kristen said:
Thanks Meghan.
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September 4, 2010
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Kristen said:
I think the best way is to ask questions about those uneasy questions and that takes a relationship with a person. It shows an investment in the person, not a number but an individual.